Anon, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time but I assure you staying alive is worth it and that the noise in your head can settle. Anxiety can bring an awful amount of clutter to an individuals mind because of all the stress and worry, and it can be hard to think straight through the clutter.
I recommend taking things one step at a time, as hard as that can be I know, it’s the easiest way to do things. Take the smallest stresses or worries in your life and sort through them one at a time; slowly moving up to the larger issues and concerns.
You travel farther moving over mole hills than you do mountains.
Just be patient with yourself, allow yourself the time needed to sort through the noise and clutter in your head and the more you understand it and yourself the easier it gets.
I wish you the best, and I know you can get through this. If you need any help or a place to vent this blog is always open.